His example of the waiter particularly hit home for me as a former waitress, making me wonder if I also had been "playing at" who I was; how many times did I greet a group of patrons with a plastered-on smile, my voice pitched a bit higher, given an extra pinch of a southern lilt? How many times did I say, "we'll get that right out for ya," as I perkily pivoted away from their table in an imitation of waitresses I'd seen on T.V. or at other restaurants? I did these things because I thought that was what good waitresses were, and good waitresses got good tips, and good tips got me gas money. In order to be successful, I had to play the part of "waitress."
But could this metaphor extend to other parts of my life? The facts about me are these: I am 19 year old student at a small liberal arts college in the South. Do I do the things I do as an attempt to fit this mold, because I think that it is who I am? Am I denying my freedom to transcend the facts of my existence? Or couldn't it be that the "essence" of who I am is what lead me to be a liberal arts college student in the South, so it's only natural that I would behave like one? Of course, this thinking would be in defiance of existentialism, but I never claimed to be an existentialist. But if I did, wouldn't I be attempting to define myself, which is something that an existentialist must never do? Playing-at-being something rather than simply doing what you want? Does anyone else find this concept as perplexing as I do?