His example of the waiter particularly hit home for me as a former waitress, making me wonder if I also had been "playing at" who I was; how many times did I greet a group of patrons with a plastered-on smile, my voice pitched a bit higher, given an extra pinch of a southern lilt? How many times did I say, "we'll get that right out for ya," as I perkily pivoted away from their table in an imitation of waitresses I'd seen on T.V. or at other restaurants? I did these things because I thought that was what good waitresses were, and good waitresses got good tips, and good tips got me gas money. In order to be successful, I had to play the part of "waitress."
But could this metaphor extend to other parts of my life? The facts about me are these: I am 19 year old student at a small liberal arts college in the South. Do I do the things I do as an attempt to fit this mold, because I think that it is who I am? Am I denying my freedom to transcend the facts of my existence? Or couldn't it be that the "essence" of who I am is what lead me to be a liberal arts college student in the South, so it's only natural that I would behave like one? Of course, this thinking would be in defiance of existentialism, but I never claimed to be an existentialist. But if I did, wouldn't I be attempting to define myself, which is something that an existentialist must never do? Playing-at-being something rather than simply doing what you want? Does anyone else find this concept as perplexing as I do?
Katie,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the concept is a very confusing one, but I think you are trying to find a truth in it. Rather than that, I believe you have to determine whether you are making decisions in order to define yourself or because you are in fact transcending your own facticity. I know for a fact that participating in classes that aren't geared toward science is something I do in order to "fit the part." However, I know that when I study sciences, it is definitely something I choose to do. The same is true for the waitress. If she believes she is playing at being a waitress in order to earn that success, then she is denying herself that freedom. But, if she is a genuinely polite and gracious person, then getting to interact with people all day while making money should be a bonus. I am attending a liberal arts college in order to earn a good job so I can enjoy a good life. I would definitely rather be listening to music and playing soccer all day, but I can truly say I am enjoying my college experiences. I do not feel as if I am trying to fit in at all, but rather doing all the things I would normally do. I'm sure you were born into a well-off family, did well in school, and ,through your "essence," made it to Rhodes College. But, along the way, did you not make choices that defined you. Sarte's "essence" definitely influences our life journey, but our existence ultimately determines who we are. I guess, in a way, it's like taking store bought cookie dough and brownie mix. Each one could become cookies and brownies, or they could become an even more delicious cookie-brownie concoction. So, in my opinion, while our essence does influence us to some degree, it is up to us and the choices we make to come up with who we will truly become. Do you want to be the cookies, the brownies, or the super delicious cookie-brownie mix? Personally, I'd choose the latter.
Collin
I think that putting Sartre into 'nature versus nurture' is simplifying him a bit. He does not deny the fact that external things change parts of your life. If a person is born with some sort of lifelong disease, his or her health will be part of their life forever and cannot simply be forgotten. However, the person can choose to do what he or she wants to with that sickly health (for instance, choose the project of pretending it isn't there, the project of being as healthy as possible, etc.)
ReplyDeleteBad faith is when you say things like, "I *have* to do ______". It is using your existence as a free being to pretend as if you're not free. We are college students. This is a project we have taken upon ourselves. What you are talking about 'fitting into a mold' is actually a project. You have a project of fitting in with the common lives of a Rhodes college student. Contrarily, someone could take upon the project of not fitting in and being opposite of the typical Rhodes student.
Like you, I feel as though I play at being a college student. It has taken me a few years but I think I have finally perfected the art of being a college student. My freshman year was rough. I think I owe most of that to the fact that I did not know how to be a college student. Second semester I begin watching the upper classman. I asked them questions about how to be a college student. Then I begin to mimic everything they did: spending late hours in the library, studying on a daily basis, studying with classmates, forming relationships with my professors. I have seen a major change in my grades and my college experience since I began playing the role of a college student. At times, I feel as though I am not being myself. I have never been fond of studying, pulling all-nighters, and other typical college student things. However, if those things will help me be successful as a college student, I will continue to do them. My theory is that most people play at being certain things in order to be successful.
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